By Katelyn, TIWP Student

I pretend to like running, but I use it as an excuse to listen to music. That’s why I usually take the stairs at any building I go to. Performative much? Maybe. That’s okay because no one needs to know how fake I am. If I didn’t force myself to run or walk or take the stairs everyone would be staring at me and telling me what a lazy person I am, because unfortunately from countless observations I’ve come to the conclusion that I am one.

One lovely day I woke up in Hollywood, Los Angeles, which was strange because I usually wake up in Walnut Creek, California, but that’s besides the point. Now that I could reach my potential of becoming the most performative and fake person out there, I wanted to go hit Erewhon and pretend to be rich. Looking around, however, Los Angeles looked worse than what I had seen on social media– I thought that everything on Instagram was real! No, I was getting clickbaited by my eyes. I was sure of that. I was walking on the cracked sidewalk (pretending to enjoy this morning stroll but I just wanted to call an Uber) when right by my feet were two plastic trash bags with flies and maggots surrounding the exterior. I almost fainted at the sight of the centipede crawling out of the bag. Disgusting! That reminded me of the centipede I found in my kitchen back at home. How did it get there? I don’t know. All I know is that I threw it out the window and some bird took it. But I think the centipedes were back for vengeance. There it was– crawling and writhing toward my shoes, its oblong body fluctuating in a consistent wave shape. I started to bite my nails and pick on my skin. I could hear it talking to me, but I didn’t bother to listen, not that I’m a good listener anyway. 

That’s when I found myself running away for dear God, this time not feigning my disdain for exercise. I didn’t exactly know where I was going, however. I just know that I accidentally jaywalked about three active crossroads and ran into some poles, but that’s no big deal. I zoomed aimlessly around the city streets, making sure that the centipede was gone. Thank god it was, because I stopped in my footsteps, trying to catch my breath.

There was a peculiar light blue building with a cross adorned at the zenith. There was a huge sign on the building starting with the letter “s” and ending with a “y”. What did it say? I didn’t know because I was illiterate. Reading comprehension is my worst area of academics, and it became so bad looking at a single word was like reading the Bible. But it looked like a nice building, so I decided to come inside.

There was a nice lady at the reception who told me some random things about appointments, having faith in the darkest of times, and other wonderful stuff like that, but, once again, I am a terrible listener. 

“Are you ready to embrace God’s open arms?” She asked me, her arm motioning to the elevator.

“Uh, yeah, sure.”

The elevator doors opened, and I hugged the doors. I needed to practice before hugging God. 

In the elevator were some strange men towering over me, all donned in suits and briefcases and a megaphone. Huh. That was strange. Maybe I was at a high school pep rally. I’d love to join in with the spirit.

“So I bet you’re wondering why you’re here today.”

Who said that? I looked at the same group of men who all turned my direction, shoulder to shoulder like a wall. 

Something smelled a bit funny. Did someone fart in the elevator? That’s no more disgusting than the centipede. This was disrespecting the spirit… of the high school pep rally! That was only until I started to hear colors and see sound… I saw four geometric shapes drift in a dreamlike state in front of my eyes and the sky, oh the sky, it was so blue. Hot air balloons turned into dogs and the grass smelled like cherries. I didn’t know what was happening, but these drugs were working pretty well. I kind of liked it. 

“Are you ready to embrace God’s open arms?”