Letting Go

By Mina Talebi, TIWP Student

My dad called it snowed – 
The way you looked at us like you loved us in your past life.
Means sedated
Means over-medicated
A last resort. 
Why are we at our last resort?

You used to be the most vibrant person I knew,
And now you’re reaching
For my name
For my hand
For the TV remote
Stare at your fingernails and remember what color felt like.
Do you remember what color feels like?

I hate that I didn’t expect this.
I hate that I excluded you from the ‘aging’ portion of my brain,
I made you immortal for no rhyme or reason
And you can’t even put on your jacket
And he keeps telling you to eat 
And silence has never scared me so bad. 
I miss you
And you’re right across from me. 

I want to save you from this. 
I want you to taste the sun
And go home
And hug your mom. 

And I want to write
In Hollywood bright lights,
Make giving up look as beautiful as you do. 
Make the ugly words easier to swallow. 

I’ve seen how many pills you swallow. 

My dad called it snowed. 
I call it letting go.

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