At a Certain Point

By Hazel Smith, TIWP Student

i didn’t want to be friends with them
i wanted to BE them

we had everything they had
maybe more

you threw it all away when you threw me out and locked the door

we flowed so naturally
but i couldn’t love you
if you didn’t love me

blocking people for kicks
just to see if they’d try to call you

watching my words
holding my breath
balancing on a mended fence
you couldn’t help but tear down.

held onto you for nine years
but space was the death of us.

but now it’s gotten better.
i feel peaceful, i feel healed.

i noticed the other day, as your eyes singled me out
and i didn’t duck out of the room

i still don’t want to be friends with them. but i don’t want to be them either. i’m happy with me being me, you being you, and us being not-quite-an-us

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