Better Bethany

By Evie Broce, TIWP Student

I can’t believe what happened to me this year. It changed my life forever. It all started on the 100th day of school. I was hanging out with um… a drawing (since I don’t really have many friends), when Tiffany Roberts came in. Then, when I was walking to my table, Tiffany tripped me! My lunch fell all over me! Everyone laughed! It was so embarrassing. I was about to cry! But then I heard someone else laughing. A very familiar voice. I’ve known it my whole life! I noticed it was me!

“Stop!” I thought. “Hahahaha I won’t! You’re so stupid I could laugh all day!” my head said. I started crying. I ran out of the cafeteria. I said “Stop it!! You’re wrong!!” I thought back to my head. “Hahahaha!! There it is again! You’re so sensitive. I love it. But I don’t love you, you stinky, idiotic baby.”

I could’t even take it anymore. I ran for the wall, and banged my head so hard, I fainted. When I woke up, I was in this white space. It was so weird. But then I saw me. Another me. A better, cooler, thinner, and smarter, more beautiful me. I was amazed.

She said to me, “What do you think now? You know….. YOU’RE the problem. I think you would have a better life with me. I’m Better Bethany, and I can make you Better Bethany,” my head said. I said to my head, “Well, just so YOU know, I couldn’t change even if I wanted too! I’m already better than you. I’m me. And you’re a thought stuck in my head! So what if I’m not popular!” I yelled right at Better Bethany’s face.

Better Bethany stood there staring. She twitched. She twitched again and then again, until a monstrous black ooze crawled out of her body. It screamed at me, “YOU’RE A NOBODY!!!!”

I started getting mad. The white space started cracking. “Well, maybe I am, but who cares? You’re not even REAL!! I AM a beautiful girl. I AM smart. I AM pretty. I AM awesome. And even if I don’t have friends yet, I can make some!” I yelled. “NOOOOOOOO!” the ooze yelled back. “YES!” I screamed. “You can’t try to take me down, because you’re just a voice inside my head.

The ooze was so angry. It picked me up by the neck and I could barley breathe! “I’LL JUST TAKE YOUR BODY MYSELF, THEN!!” it said. The ooze started sucking my soul into its mouth. I was almost dead. I couldn’t even breathe any longer. With my last moments of life, I found a sharpened stick. I tried to grab it. Too far! I tried again. So close! One last breathe and I’d be dead. I was blacking out. I finally reached the stick and jabbed it into the ooze’s stomach. It dropped me. I fell to the ground and gasped for life. When I looked back, there was no monster, all the ooze was gone. It was just Better Bethany. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head, and just like that, she was gone.

And from that day on, I never said anything rude to myself again. Soon enough, I did make friends! Amanda, Callie, Rosie, and a lot more. But reader, I would like to tell you that everyone sometimes has a Better Bethany inside, and that’s normal. A lot of girls go through the same experience. But your Better Bethany always goes away, and she is just a voice in your head. You are you, and perfect just the way you are.

Thank you for reading, and don’t forget, you’re awesome!

This story is dedicated to my Mom and my Dad, who always made me feel better when I was depressed. This is also dedicated to my awesome writing teacher, Melissa, who told me to write this story in the first place.

1 Response

  1. Melody-Anne Schultz

    Evie this story is brilliant. It is not only a creative work of art, capturing an extremely vivid imagination, it also expresses depths of feelings experienced by you and possibly many others.

    The Intuitive Voice in your writing opens the mind to expressive feelings that are often suppressed in fear of being as you say ‘laughed at’

    Sharing this story shows your strong character, that of a very special, insightful and endearing young writer.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s