Thoughts from the Floor of a Bathroom During a Bat Mitzvah

By Harper Bergquist, TIWP Student

My sister is popular and it really is irritating me because she has 10,000 friends and I have two. Hiding in the bathroom is not the best way to spend a party. I complain way too much. I’m glad you didn’t leave me on Monday because I was hella sad about that for a few nights. I’ve had five crushes in my life and three of them have been Jewish. You just sent me a Snapchat. I’m not going to open it. I’ve been sitting on the floor here for so long the motion-activated lights just went out. I haven’t liked anyone since June tenth. That’s a personal record. I’ve never not liked someone since first grade. I’m breaking out again and it really brings down my self confidence ten notches. I’ve been gone twenty minutes and no one has texted me. I really want to kiss someone. College is an awfully long ways away. There isn’t wifi here which is rather awful. It’s ridiculous how self absorbed I can be. I know I’ve said this before and it just sounds like I’m fishing for compliments but I mean it. I’m so, so sorry for trying to guilt trip you into talking to me and I know how awful I am but you don’t have to deal with all my shit if you don’t want to and please, please, please feel free to leave anytime. I never can remember why the sky is naturally blue. Bohemian Rhapsody is a great song to listen to if you don’t know how exactly you’re feeling. Shaving my legs is like the highlight of my day. I don’t know why I care so much about what color my underwear is. If you got this far, thanks for reading. I realize sometimes the enormity of the universe and it scares me so bad. I’m pretty sure I kissed a girl in first grade but I can’t remember. It’s been half an hour. People are clapping downstairs. I don’t love my cat as much anymore and that really scares me. My mom just called me. Bye.

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