By GG, TIWP Student

“Boys will be boys” and just like that all is forgiven. You can’t blame him, he’s just a boy, it’s only natural. If he teases you, he likes you, if he bullies you, he likes you, if he stalks you, it’s okay, it’s just because he likes you. It’s sad how many girls are told this growing up, it excuses male behavior that’s often aggressive or violent. It teaches girls to accept violence because it’s just the way boys are. It teaches boys it’s okay to be violent because it’s only natural.

“Boys don’t cry” and so they push their feelings down. Crying is weak, which is why it’s for girls. If you cry it’s not masculine, it’s not manly so better to shove down your emotions than to express them. Emotions are for the girls, you have to be a leader, you have to be strong. This teaches boys that strength and emotions are two separate things. It is not strong to be emotional. It is not strong to cry.

“She’s just being dramatic” and so she stops showing emotion. Girls are drama queens, girls are hormonal, girls can’t keep their emotions in check. So if she cries, ignore her, don’t feed into her dramatics or listen to what she has to say, she’s just a girl. Girls can’t control her emotions so others have to dismiss them. This teaches girls that no matter what they feel, if they express that they’re upset or sad or angry they’re just being dramatic. It makes them stop showing those types of emotions if only to not be called dramatic.

“Is it that time of the month?” and suddenly her pain is invalidated. Your hormones are going crazy, that’s why you’re acting like this. You’re on your period so cramps are why you’re upset. It’s such a quick excuse for people who don’t want you to talk about it. Talking about your period is gross, especially if you talk about it to men. Women should have to go to the store if they run out of supplies, men shouldn’t have to hear about their cramps or blood or cravings. It teaches everyone that periods are taboo subjects, so never talk about that time of the month.

“You can’t put a baby girl in blue” and if you do, people will assume she’s a boy. Pink is for girls and blue is for boys. Girls can’t play with trucks and dinosaurs, and boys can’t play with dolls or dress up. Nevermind if it makes them happy, it’s not masculine, it’s not feminine. It teaches children that pursuing things they love is not as important as keeping up appearances. It makes all little boys wear blue even if their favorite color is pink.

“Girls should be delicate and pretty, boys should be strong and handsome” and if they’re not then they shouldn’t show their face. Girls are taught that they must have the right proportions, never mind that the beauty standards change all the time, you must have a small waist and big breasts. Boys only like girls with proper proportions. Boys are taught that they must be muscular, never mind that means constantly working out, you have to have abs. Girls only like boys with abs and muscles. If a girl is muscular she’s not a girl at all, at least not a pretty one. If a boy is skinny then he’s not a boy at all, at least not a handsome one. And no one can be fat, because having a stomach is bad for both genders.

Children listen. We need to be careful with what we say to them.