By Audrey Lambert, TIWP Student

I drummed my fingers on the table.

“Hey,” said a sort of acquaintance that I knew from school.

“Oh, um, hi,” I scooted over so that he could sit next to me.

Shouldn’t have done that, said Anxiety, now you have to make small talk.

Don’t be ridiculous, said Logic, just talk normally to him. He’ll probably leave soon.

No, no, said Anxiety, freak out, freak out!

Just make small talk, you’ll be fine, said Logic.

No you won’t, said Anxiety.

Shut up, Anxiety! Yes you will, Logic said.

I took a deep breath, “So, how are you?” I asked.

You said it weird, said Anxiety.

No you didn’t, you’re doing great, said Logic.

“Good, how are you?”

Lie, said Anxiety, you’re most definitely not okay, so say you’re good or he’ll hate you.

No, he won’t hate you, said Logic.

“I’m good,” I said.

AHHHH small talk—my mortal weakness, said Anxiety, say, um…say, do you like avocados, that’s a premium conversation starter.

No, do not say that, just ask him what he’s been doing.

“So, what have you been up to recently?” I asked.

You said it weird again, said Anxiety.

Shhh, shhh, no you didn’t, said Logic.

“Not much, I went parasailing last week. How about you?”

Lie, said Anxiety, lie say you went bungee jumping, that’ll sound cool.

No, said Logic, just be honest.

“I’ve just been hanging out with friends”

WEIRD, said Anxiety.

“Oh, cool, well I have to go.”

YES! Anxiety cheered.

“Okay, bye.”

Whelp, said Anxiety, he hates you.

Not true, said Logic.

I could finally breathe.

“Hey,” said a different sort of acquaintance.

Well, shit, said Anxiety.