By Laily Berjis, TIWP Student

I don’t know what to call it,
the space between a sigh and a smile,
when someone says “you’re too sensitive,”
and you don’t know if it’s a curse or a compliment.

It’s like the smell you remember,
that brings back a memory
but can’t name,
and suddenly you’re there.

It’s the color gray
A fog that lingers around your mind,
that makes everything feel off,
like you’re floating in the middle of a dream.

I don’t know what to call it,
The invisible weight your body carries
that isn’t yours,
the fear and trauma you took on.

The anger they never expressed,
but you can taste it on their breath,
You carry it,
because you thought no one else
could hold onto it.

It’s a room full of mirrors
that don’t show your true reflection,
just versions of how others
expect you to stand.

It’s the guilt of saying no,
even when you want to say yes,
because you don’t want to disappoint anyone.

The way you laugh at things you don’t find funny,
because you’re scared of showing your flaws
the moments where the mask slips just a little too much.

Like the frustration you never let free,
that sits heavy in your chest,
Knocking against your ribs,
it wants to break free,
but you keep it in,
because if you set it free,
You know no one would be able to fix it.

It’s a book with the pages missing,
You know there’s more to it,
but can’t find the words to fill it in.

It’s being underwater at a dinner table,
seeing everyone’s mouths move,
but the muffled words don’t seem to reach you.

I don’t know what to call it,
the feeling of being too much for the world
and not enough for yourself.

It’s like being in a room where no one’s talking
but you can still hear the judgment
unnoticed,
sitting there,
louder than anything anyone actually said.

I don’t know what to call it,
but maybe it’s called being human,
maybe it’s just called life,
and the jumble of emotions.

People talk like their thoughts are facts.
I feel like my feelings apologize too much.
But maybe it’s okay
to not make sense,
to be a poem without punctuation,
a space in between.