Audrey Harris, TIWP Student

Some days I feel purple. Purple like plums, like grapes, or like any sort of fruit you can think of. I don’t really mind the color purple. And other days I am red. Not a raging red, more like a passionate red. Red that expresses love, devotion. Red that leaves your heart on your sleeve. Other days I am yellow. Yellow like the sun blazing down on you at noon when working in the fields. I don’t like yellow so much. Every once in a while I am blue. Blue like the ocean,  like the calming rain pitter-pattering against my window. Blue isn’t so bad. I guess I like orange too. Orange like the morning sunrise, waking up the world. Orange is pretty. But it is green I love the most. Green like the trees I spend hours laying against. Leaning all of my bodyweight on them. They support me. So tall, so sturdy, so strong. I rarely am green. I don’t get to choose my color. The world chooses it for me. I have heard my colors are my way of coping. But, I don’t know what the coping is for. There is nothing wrong with me, so why do I need to cope? The trees have strong roots holding them up. They support so much life. They are unchanging, like I wish life was. I particularly appreciate redwood trees. They are so tall yet their roots are so shallow. It should be impossible for them to stay standing, yet they withstand any storm. There is a redwood near where I stay. Sometimes, I like to venture into the woods just to breathe the same air as this redwood. Sitting at its base, I can look up and barely see the sky nor the sun through those green leaves. I can’t see purple nor red nor yellow nor blue nor orange from where I sit. Just green. These are the moments that I feel green. Perfectly at peace with this soul wrapping around me, protecting me. And in those moments life is unchanging. No one leaves, no one disappears, no one dies. At those moments I can hear his voice calling out to me, telling me to get moving because if we don’t hurry he will be late to soccer practice. I don’t know why he was always in such a rush. But nothing changes here. He is not gone and I am not alone. And if I were to be alone, then I would still have this redwood speaking to me. Unchanging. Life stops and I don’t have to be anywhere or do anything or be anyone. I can just be green. Not purple, not red, not yellow, not blue, not orange. Just green. And that is enough for me. I will not leave. I will stay here for you. You beautiful redwood. You spirit. I am in your arms and nothing can hurt me. Life has not changed, I have not changed. I feel myself smile as I laugh giddily. Standing up and reaching my arms out towards your arms, I spin round and round. Round and round I go. Shedding the hurt, shedding the colors, until I am just green. Pure life. Pure soul. Pure spirit. Pure nature. I am you and you are mine. My beautiful redwood.